A time warp.
Memory warp.
Wrap your head around and spin warp.
A dance until you drop...
Hands raised to the ceiling...
Feet raised in the air...
Laughing 'til my tummy aches...
WARP!
...I mean what else can I do, right?
Since October and the rein of Tropical Storm Sandy this has been me.
This has been my family.
This has been time sped into high octane overdrive.
2012 left in such a hurry.
13 is my lucky number and what better way to start it than with a fresh coat of paint on newly laid walls.
I was told by many that our house "got the disaster award in the neighborhood."
My response to all," Really?-- What did we win?"
The aftermath of the storm left us in a daze.
Our beloved little gray house was ripped apart at the seems and our garage teetered 2 feet off the ground.
We adults wept silently.
My children sat in the middle of their tree torn room holding each other as their tears fell.
The beloved Fairy Tree that I had painted would be no more.
The princess castle a top the finger painted grassy scape would be a thing of the past.
From an adult perspective this sounds silly, after all, the well being of a family outweighs the demolition of a bedroom mural.
However...
If you're 6 and 7 that's not the case.
Being with out electricity was an adventure.
Sleepovers night after night was the coolest thing EVER!
Pretending to be wild cats while climbing through the oaks that lay on our property was imaginative play at it's best.
Destroying the Magic Fairy Tree was with out question...
Horrific.
Grace glared at our very friendly construction worker," WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH MY FAIRIES?! THROW THEM IN THE GARBAGE?!"
He looked toward me, confused and said,"Don't worry you'll have new walls soon." Then he walked away.
Poor guy...not a clue.
Grace shouted after him," You'd better not throw them AWAY!! I don't want new walls" (then cried some more)
Chloe hugged Grace and I tightly. She squeezed the breathe out me while her face was silently buried in the crook of my neck.
That was a painful hug session. I cried big Mama tears for my babies.
This place was all they had ever known.
They hadn't the ability to think into the far off future and feel safe.
- That was our job.
Make them feel safe and secure while the walls and roof were torn down and the house was emptied of it's contents.
- our things.
- our memories.
-all boxed away.
-stuffed into a POD on our now crumbling, mud pit of a driveway.
Addi stood in the kitchen, favorite sketchbooks, drawing pencils and stuffed animals in hands and gave me a piece of paper.
Addi,"Mom, please read this. I hope that you're not mad."
Me...thinking, oh boy. This is serious.
The Letter--------------------
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm worried about our family.
Our house is what makes our family special and holds us together.
Will we still be the same if we aren't living in our house?
Will you and Daddy get a divorce? I don't want to hurt you feelings.
Love,
Addison and my sisters too.
------------------------------------
I got weepy.
Turning my back so they couldn't see, I snuck into the bathroom and hid for a little.
This is the only place where I can be alone for a few seconds...if lucky.
ok.
Close the eyes for a moment...
Deep breathe...
Now another.
I don't have time for this.
Had to pull my shit together fast.
Deep breathe.
Exhale.
Open the door.
Smile.
Good as new.
I told the girls that there was nothing to worry about.
-Brushed Addi's hair away from her eyes and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
She returned it with an "I'm sorry" and a hug.
I returned it with," You didn't do anything wrong. These are your feelings. I'm glad that you shared them. Don't ever be worried about telling me how you feel."
She gave me a mousy,"Ok, Mom" followed by a cute half grin.
We left, bags and giant suitcase dragging along, doggies in a Dog Hotel and us headed to The Marriott.
... with the promise that we could soon return.
So strange.
- but "do-able."
During the car ride we talked about New Year's Resolutions.
The girls made me aware that since the storm we had changed. Mommy and Daddy weren't as fun anymore. We didn't play as many silly games or dance as much. And we yelled more.
I felt like saying,"Mommy and Daddy are stressed out. Construction work with three kids and two dogs sucks. Taking down all that is Christmas, in a hurry and packing an entire house's contents in a week sucks more. I could use some anti depressants or a stiff drink!"
Instead...........
We made a promise to one another.
It was our family resolution:
When we get back to our house we will go back to being "our regular selves" and be the way we used to be. We will do more fun stuff in the new year, in our fixed house.
THAT WAS THE END OF 2012.
2013-------------
The hotel was a welcome break.
A vacation close to home.
Beds made, rooms cleaned, food cooked...
AND NOT BY ME!
Plus, we had an indoor pool and gym.
- This was a fabulous Mommy bribe.
"Girls, finish your homework and we can swim for 1/2 hour before dinner."
"Kids, if you go to bed like good girls you can go swimming tomorrow."
I loved that part.
I thought that the getting up an hour earlier in order to commute with three kids part would be annoying, but it wasn't.
Thank God.
My girlies were so in awe of hotel living that they were often up and ready before me!
Grace was convinced that we had suddenly become rich and famous...
"That's gotta be why everyone here is so nice and helpful. This place is fancy too."
She drank her morning orange juice from her wine glass each morning and chatted with "the helpful ladies."
We were able to have breakfast with Jim...
another added other "don't need to clean the house bonuses".
Like bowling...2 days in a row!
This was the most welcomed bit of fairy magic.
Thank you 2013.
Our family needed this sooooo badly.
2 WEEKS LATER-------------
Here we are.
UNPACKING.
The basement resembles a fallout shelter and the POD will be with us for awhile.
...but it's good to be home.
Empty rooms, polished floors, fresh paint on new walls and ceilings.
It's time to make this place ours again.
By 8 pm, on our first night back, Addison's bed was planted in her room.
She had asked to upgrade.
Addi now has "a big kid" bed.
- In other words the full sized bed from the down stairs bedroom, most beloved by Tina and Julia (our au pairs extraordinaire) is now hers.
By 8:30pm Chloe and Addi were curled up together in bed.
Grace was laying on the floor.
...Yes, on the floor.
Gracie opted out of "being squished in the middle" and insisted "that it was more comfy on the floor."
Jim was rebuilding the bunk beds in the other room...
and cursing his head off.
I read the classic The Best Nest loudly, mainly to cover Jim's potty mouth.
"I love our house.
I love our nest.
In all the world
Our nest is best!"
Every day when the kids come home from school I plan on having one more detail added to each of their rooms.
-My little Mama treat.
Maybe a re-found toy on the bed, a new shelf put up, a decal on a wall (no more painted murals in this little house) or a picture set back in place.
This will require me running home for lunch and most likely not eating any lunch, but it's worth it.
Happy New Year.
