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| Chloe fell asleep with Lightning on the kitchen floor. This was a favorite "hot spot" 2 yrs. ago. |
Although well rested...
I find myself drained.
There is a menagerie of mushed up, swirling, twirling, somersaulting thoughts climbing through my weary mind.
-My guy and I had our bed all to ourselves last night.
I had wonderful, uninterrupted dreams...
...My hair turned silvery white (too much bleach)
...I grew three very large chins (could this be because I have 3 growing children?)
...My arms sagged abnormally low to my belly button, as I flapped them at my sides (I think they call these wings)
... I thought of my husband and that we were growing old together, IT WAS FAST AND CRUDE but we were old together.
THEN>
I LOOKED UP AT HIM>
He hadn't aged a day!
"Wait a minute...What's going on?!...This isn't right. What's happening here?... THIS ISN'T FAIR."
His charming attempts to soothe his chair ridden wife were failures.
I didn't want to look at his youthful face let alone hear his unmarred voice.
I turned inward, away from him.
Then the alarm went off.
-Who can help me with this one?
It's not a fear of getting older. I'm freaky. I enjoy the whole getting older thing. Maybe when I'm eighty I won't. Right now I am appreciative of all that I have and often romanticize what awaits. When I tell my husband that "I cherish the thought of rocking with him, on a porch, some very wrinkly day down the road."- I truly mean it.
AH HA!!!
I've analyzed myself.
That's it.
The dream has been cracked!
This is why I love to write!!
It scared the crap out of me because he stayed frozen in youth while I moved on alone.
That's it...the alone thing.
Changing...alone.
My husband being there but not experiencing all of life with me.
OKAY...SO THE DREAM WAS A NIGHTMARE.
But at least I saw it through to the end.
This, hasn't helped in the slightest.
Why couldn't I have had a pleasant night's sleep?!
Someone "up there" certainly is a prankster.
I can hear it now...
Sandman 1:"How are we gonna mess with this Mom tonight?!"
Sandman 2:"That's easy. Let her body rest while we play games inside her head."
Sandman 1:"Beautiful."
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| Grace and Chloe...Ummm...Being themselves! |
-On average there are between 3 and 5 people in our bed.
POPULAR SLEEP STYLES ARE AS FOLLOWS:
One on each side of me, while one rests uncomfortably, on top of me. I have the honor of sweating beneath a child, her beloved "nigh night" and our comforter. This combination screams TWO things:
1) Mommy is trapped.
2)Mommy is very sweaty.
OR
It goes kid, adult, kid, adult, kid.
Was that five?
1,2,3,4,5.
Yup...all there.
 |
| Chloe tired after dress up. |
Here's another popular bed arrangement:
Mom.
Kid.
Kid.
Dad.
...and Kid 3 rests in fetal position at the foot of bed like a dog.
The dog is sleeping on our slippers and smelly shoes next to the bed.
-We've tried to put sleeping bags next to him for the girls. We did our best to convince them that it was way cooler to sleep on the floor next to us than be squished with us.
Our best has never been enough. If it were this next maneuver wouldn't be so popular with the 10 and under crowd.
For those wild and crazy nights. You know, the ones that have allotted minimal REM's, we have the Spinner with a kick.
This isn't a new shot to try while out for Ladies Night.
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| Grace and Addi love photo-booth sessions on the imac. |
Moms?...Dads?...
Come on.
This one's popular with restless sleepers and lucid dreamers alike.
Mom and Dad rest comfortably until someone gets kicked in the head.
Damn it!
...then the thigh.
Ouch!
Tiny is on the move.
There she spins!
Watch out!
Incoming!
A leg crashes down on your significant other.
They yelp.
The kiddo groans.
She rolls, then is miraculously rotating 45 degrees south west.
Another blow has landed.
This time it's a swift kick to the rib cage.
A parent gets grumpy.
Kid is tossed overboard.
Did they land with the dog?
Did they wander back to their own bed?
Did I hear whimpering?
Wait...Did one of the kids say that we are mean?
No one cares. Mom and Dad have been beaten silly and are exhausted.
We'll do a head count in the morning.
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| The girls... being "the girls." |
Be on the lookout for Bed Maneuvers and Synchronized Sleep Rituals during the next Olympics.
Don't miss the newest trend in night time water sports. The Sprinkler. This sport has been considered taboo for centuries. We are going public!
Timing must be precise and consistent for a minimum of 3 consecutive nights. The bed sheets must be saturated with a liquid measure of 5ml. or more to count for placement.
Look for my family!
We're sure to bring in a gold medal for the USA.
(Sprinkler days are over, knock on wood... but we have a chance in the other categories.)
Note to Julia:
Are you sure that you're going to miss all of this? Just kidding. We love you.
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