I could hear the low hum of voices from the livingroom.
Jim and Julia were watching tv.
I wasn't ready for that yet.
I was after a different type of decompression.
I revelled in the sleepy silence that had enveloped Grace and Chloe's bedroom. I knelt beside the bottom bunk, chin resting on hands, fingers laced together.
Exhaling with a sigh, I watched my youngest baby.
I lingered, inches away from a dreaming Chloe.
"My "Tiny" isn't a baby any longer," I thought.
At the ripe old age of 5 1/2 she will be graduating kindergarten shortly.
She will be moving on to full days of school where friendships and teachers may have more of an impact on her than I do.
--So, selfish of me to think this way.
...but don't we all?
My mind wandered through milestones. "This is HUGE," was my conclusion.
I studied her, remembering all of the times that Jim and I had done this when our kids were in cradles and cribs.
I drew closer, analyzing her features...
--the upturned baby nose...so like mine.
--those lengthly, pale eyelashes...inherited from my Mom.
--her soft, blushing cheeks...always ready for a kiss.
--the pouty puss and accented bow of her lip...admired by many. Could Angelina Jolie be a relative?
--and her long, fine fingers grasping her "nigh night" for security.
The "blanket thing" runs in our family.
Our little Chloe has been toting a nigh-night since day one.
It's been on her mind a lot lately.
My Mama intuition tells me she fears that it is supposed to be left behind soon.
Chlo Chlo understands that she is getting older. She is overjoyed to be heading into first grade and hangin' with all of the "big kids."
---Is a "nigh-night unacceptable for a first grader? Hmmmmm?
As I rested next to her I thought of an earlier, blanket based conversation.
---Proof that she is in the midst of a heated battle! ...Chloe vs The Rules (or so she might think)
Chloe sat on my lap, toying with the charm necklace that I wear...
...this is something that all three of my kids do from time to time.
...they are fascinated with its looks and symbolism.
...it is "them."
...now, to them, it represents me as well.
Always so many questions...
---Why do you wear them Mom?
---Which color is mine?
---Why?
---Daddy got these for you, right?
---Do you love us more than your necklace?
Chloe's question was new.
"Mommy? When we die will God let us bring something with us to Heaven?"
--Like what Chlo?
"If you die...will you take your necklace with you? Will you be allowed?"
--I thought...My splendid, ever curious girl! How Mama adores you!
My answer...Yes, I'd like to.
Holding my charms in a tightly closed grip, close to my heart I continued,"I will hold onto them tight, like this (showing her) and never let go of them. Maybe if I hold on tight enough they will come with me."
She thought about this.
There was silence as she stared at the charms.
Holding onto the corner of her blanket, high in the air, with both hands, my little Chlo boldly announced...
"When I go to Heaven nigh-night is coming with me! I'll hold it soooo tight...I WILL NEVER LET IT GO! It's totally coming with me. I WILL NOT LEAVE IT."
She hugged the night-night and me as hard as she could...
...and that's pretty hard for a little peanut.
I have a feeling that nigh-night will get a college education some day...
...just like my Crueby.
Such a lovely picture painted as I drink my morning coffee.
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