CLICK, CLICK, CLICK. That's Not the Sound of My Shoes

Grace and her best buddy, Stephanie

How many women out there can honestly say that they had a lot of girlfriends growing up?
If you are one of them...you know, the "girl friend" type I commend you.
I was not one of you.
This is no easy feat. (being a "girl friender')
We are temperamental, caddy, "clicky," and devious at times. Yes, girls tend to travel in packs. There also seems to be a "pecking" order of sorts, along with stereotypical roles.
For example:
From a male perspective, (that perspective being the male friends that I grew up with)...
There is always a "hot girl" or maybe two. There is always a funny girl to lighten things up when the crew gets rowdy. There is always "a smart girl" who can sometimes fall into the "hot" category. The so called "sporty" or "cheerleader types" usually travel in three's and move between multiple social social circles. Then there is the (please remember...this IS NOT, I REPEAT, IS NOT MY Point Of View!) fat or ugly girl. Although she has a nice personality boys only consider her "a friend." She's purely part of the group to make the "hot" chicks look better.

When I first heard this I was appalled! My initial feeling (when I was a kid) was... guys stink.
Now, thinking it over, I remind myself that this is the way that the average teenage boy (as in not a man yet) apparently sees girls. Yes, it's disappointing...
...sad.
...sexist.
...and rude.
...but it's honest.
Where did that leave me growing up? Where will this leave my three girls? I shudder at the thought of  labels being applied to them.
I had wanted nothing to do with this hierarchy growing up. I was one of those girls that got along with everybody. I was the sensitive girl with the sketchbook. Come on, you know her! She tends to float from circle to circle. She has a reputation for being "nice to everybody." When people think of her the first thing that comes to mind is,"Oh she's nice."or "Oh, yeah..she's artsy." She typically doesn't rock the social boat. This "nice girl" (me, in my teenage "mold") usually has more guy friends than girl friends.
The "nice girl" is no fool. It's simpler that way. It's also simpler to "float." There are fewer confrontations. There are far fewer fights over boys to deal with... unless of course, you have a few homosexual friends.
Which I did.
You see the "nice girl" does not discriminate.
That's something that is far beneath her.

I had few girl friends. Those that I KEPT CLOSE to me were considered TRUE FRIENDS. We shared similar values and had great times together.
Unfortunately there weren't many of us to be found. Those that did exist growing up were often confused and suckered in by the power and glam of those big, clicking circles.
The majority of us figure out who we are as we submerge ourselves, unwillingly into adulthood. The thirties have been a pleasure for me.
The nice, artistic girl had found her power and voice in her early twenties and is a confident woman.
THIS IS WAS NO EASY FEAT.
My children are a beautiful combination of my husband and I. They will someday be outstanding women. I look forward to those years both for them and for us.
It's the early years that concern me. My heart is already breaking knowing that there will be social drama ahead. Someone, somewhere will hurt my children and there might be nothing that I can do about it. Hell, I may never even find out about it! Scary stuff... Knowing that, as a parent, I won't be able to shelter them forever.

When you are in "it" nothing else matters. No one understands. You don't even have the experience to figure "it" out. (you don't know this though) You're not sure how you'll get through "it."
You do though.
You learn  and move on...
...first weak,
... but then,
...ultimately stronger than before.

I'm assuming (mainly because it's all that I can do) that if Jim and I raise our children in a nurturing environment and keep our expectations high...but not out of control (I think I know what that means?! I'm learning here!) that our girls will have a gleaming coat of the strongest armor. They'll need it to battle during the teenage years.

Am I a pessimist?
Am I a realist?
...a bit of both.
I'm no fool.
The optimist in me...
...Yes, she has survived.
She tells me that there's a chance that my little ones will emerge unscathed. That they'll breeze through middle school and high school.
Then the pessimist kicks me...
HARD!!
Reminding me that six year old Grace is already having "friend issues!" These are girl friend problems.
ALREADY!!
In first grade?!

They are best buddies. They are incredibly similar. They are incredibly competitive... especially with each other.
NO BIG DEAL...
They argue.
FINE.
They make up.
FINE.
They try to out do one another.
OK...
Other girls try and get involved.
UH...OH.
They tell them that friends don't treat each other that way.
OH..NO.
...but they love each other and always make up.
GOOD JOB LADIES.
...but the other girls don't care. They say they shouldn't be friends anymore.
CRAP.
Grace cries.
Her best buddy cries.
DOUBLE CRAP.
This happens for over a week.
-An eternity when you are six.-
The other girls try and keep them apart in school.
...WHY, OH... WHY, DO THEY INTERFERE...I WISH THAT I COULD STOP "IT!"
Our girls are confused, angry and crying.
MOMMY INTERVENTIONS TAKE PLACE.
WE ARE NOW DETECTIVES. (Where's my pipe and hat?)
After twenty minutes the mystery of why our girls are miserable is uncovered.
They are happily bouncing in gymnastics together.
AND I SAY TO MYSELF what a wonderful world!
... Yes, I say to myyyyseeeeeeelff...Ohhh nOOOOOO It's beeeeeeguuuuun!
 (*Did you like that? That was me singing.)
But seriously, I thought to myself... Be strong and stay friends. You love each other. Ignore them...
...for Mommy's sake.