Orbeez and Sex Talks. Welcome to MY World

Welcome to my world. I'm currently sitting in my incredibly messy living room with my three girls while the hubby is furiously typing in the kitchen. He on his lap top and me on mine...gotta love it. There is a "BSHZZZZZZ" sound that can be heard in the background. Just a light white noise. No big deal. No one is screaming. No one is hurt. All is well.
Chlo Chlo calls to me," Moooommmm. Can you please help me 'caws I can't move. There are orbeez ower dare and ower  dare. I can't reach them."

The "BSHZZZZ" mystery has been solved.

There sits little Chloe, pretty as a picture with her pink fuzzy pants rolled to the knees, her feet submerged in a tub of pink and purple gooey beads. She is pointing to various places in the room.
 I know the drill. Time to run around and collect "foot orbeez" that have bounced out of Chloe's contraption. If you don't know what my girls call "foot orbeez" consider yourself lucky! A foot spa for kids with aromatic beads for soaking sounds lovely...until you get it home.

Lightning can not enter the room when the SPA is out. Chloe fears that he will treat HER SPA like a doggy snack.
Numerous bouncy balls have been squashed, their jelly like substance (which totally weirds me out) remaining under couch and chair until found, sometimes days later.
...GROSS.
Mini crystal balls are pretty until they squash under your feet and squish unexpectedly between your bare toes.
I'll have to admit, they do make your skin feel soft (which, again...weirds me out!) but I'm not looking forward to collecting them from odd crevices around the house for days to come. As I finish the clean up Addison dances into the room. My oldest is humming a song that brings me back to yesterday. I was standing  in my kitchen on yet another average Saturday morning. Breakfast was cooking. I was waiting for my tribe to come thundering down the hall at any moment. Coffee was about to be scooped, ready for brewing.
THUD
THUD
THUD
In bounds Addi.
She smiles and plants herself at the kitchen table fully expecting a hot breakfast.
Addi: "Mom I'm starving!"
Me (aka Mom): "In the mood for eggs?"
Addi: "Ok...sunshine eggs please."
-That's our code for eggs over easy.
I nod gesturing a "yes" and continue to scoop coffee.
Then the fun begins.
Addi belts out one of her current top 10 hits. Yup, you guessed it! "I'm Sexy and I Know It!"
We were graced with the lyrics "Damn, look at that body! Look at that body, I WORK OOOOUUT!!"
...Then onto the chorus in Addi "twistology."
"I got a passion in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it."

PAUSE...

"I'm sexy and I know itttt!!!

HARD PAUSE

Addison: " Mom...What does it mean to have passion in your pants? I don't get it?!"
Me: "Ummm...He's excited." (I thought that was a good one. Short and sweet.)
...Here it comes.
Addi: "I still don't get it. Mom, how can you be excited in your pants? Does he have to pee?"

HARD GULP (me)

Me: "Yes. He's super excited because he knows that he's sexy. So excited that he really, really has to go to the bathroom."
Addi: "Why would anybody make a song about having to pee? Is he going to go in his pants?"
...My slow to start response as I tried desperately to count coffee scoops and pour was,"I don't know. It's a crazy song Add. Why would anyone do that?! WHOA! Addi, that really is a nutty song!"
Were my Jedi mind tricks working on her? Was she thrown off of the trail?
 NOPE.
Addi: "Mom. All of my friends really like this song and so do I. It's a good song."
I love that she feels this way even though she doesn't know what the lyrics mean. Oh, to be nine again. I still remember belting out Madonna's Like a Virgin as I pranced around in white lace and pearls. Who knew?
Oh, no...I lost it. I strolled down memory lane and didn't find my way back fast enough!
Addi: " Now I don't get it. That's a passion in your pants?!"
Jim sensed the impending disaster. He chimed in from the other room. The parental voice of reason.
THE GREAT OZ...
...from the bathroom?
Jim (aka Dad): "It's about having to pee in your pants."

---AND THAT WAS IT! TOPIC DROPPED.
How does he do that? No fair... The Daddy power reigns supreme once again.

Now the kids are playing with their sparkling, silver cheerleader pom-poms tucked in the back of their pants. They are ponies. Our house is safe from yet another "sex" talk. The Orbeez have all rolled away.

It's time to walk in the snow...or is it rain now? No matter. The ponies need fresh air.